my first trimester

Hi everyone! It has been a minute - ok, over a year - since I last posted on here. So much has happened since then, and I am excited to fill you all in!

Much of late 2017 and early 2018 was spent planning my wedding. I have SO much to say about that, and will work on writing about my experience and offering any advice I can. There were many aspects that I loved about wedding planning and many that I did not. Because I will elaborate in another wedding-specific post, I’ll leave it at this: June 2, 2018 was the most perfect day because I got to marry my best friend, surrounded by all of the people we hold closest to our hearts.

Us on the a private boat day trip to Capri! More photos to come in a honeymoon dedicated blog post :)

A couple of days after our wedding, my husband Brandon and I went on the most incredible honeymoon to the Amalfi Coast and Venice - which is where our little babe was conceived. (Another FAQ by family members/friends: were you pregnant at your wedding? Nope! Not that there would be anything wrong with that). We spent 10 days relaxing, taking in the beautiful scenery, and eating pizza and pasta for mostly every meal. It was truly magical and I would recommend this trip to anyone looking for a romantic, perfect getaway. We stayed at Casa Angelina in Praiano and I do not have enough positive things to say about the experience. I’ll have to write a whole post on our honeymoon to give you guys all of the recommendations!

I have two other life updates before I get into the details of my first trimester - first, I graduated from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in September! I am officially a certified holistic health coach and am working with clients on a variety of health and wellness (including nutrition, skincare, hormone balancing, fertility, etc.) goals. I’m currently at capacity with my clients and am planning to take maternity leave once our baby is born, but I would LOVE to hear from you if you are interested in working together and would like to be added to my waitlist for spring 2019 :) My second life update is that I have left my day job and am now focusing full-time on health coaching, blogging, growing this little human and preparing to be a mama. I am so grateful that I have a supportive husband who encouraged me to take the time I needed to rest, and to be able to work on all the things that bring me the most joy. I will try to be better about getting more blog posts up now that I have a little more extra time on my hands.

Our very first doctor visit when we heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time!

Now onto the start of the pregnancy journey… I’ll address some questions I have gotten, explain how I prepared my body for pregnancy, dive into the details of my first trimester (many of which I would like to forget), and share all of my pregnancy must-have items during this time. My goal in providing this information is to help anyone out there who may be trying to become a mama or is a mama-to-be. I will always be truthful and transparent - when I was struggling in the thick of it, it really helped me to read about the experiences that other women had. With that said, every woman and every pregnancy is so different, so please take everything I say and recommend with a grain of salt. Something that may have helped me may totally repulse you - it is all about listening to your own body and what it needs. Also, be sure to consult your medical team before using or taking anything - I am not a doctor and cannot give true medical advice tailored to your needs, only suggestions that I found have helped me through the process. Lastly, I want to make note that I am by no means complaining about anything related to pregnancy - we are so grateful we were able to get pregnant quickly, and do not take a second of this pregnancy for granted. Every second of sickness will be worth it and I am beyond thankful to experience it all. Please know that if you are struggling to get pregnant, I feel for you and send you all of the love and baby dust in the world.

Buckle up for the ride - it’s about to get real!

Pre-Pregnancy

Brandon and I always knew we wanted to be parents relatively soon after we got married - we both love kids and family is so important to us. I have had Hashimoto’s thyroid since I was 14, which is an autoimmune disease in which your body attacks its own thyroid cells. Because of this, I was always a little concerned about my fertility and wondered if it would be easy for me to get pregnant when I wanted to. I was on the birth control pill a couple of different times in my life, but stopped taking it for good about a year before our wedding. I wanted to give my body a chance to regulate and have a natural cycle to prepare for pregnancy. It did take me a few months to get my period back initially, but with the help of my naturopathic doctor and dietary/lifestyle changes, I began to have a regular, reliable cycle.

I read somewhere during this time that the best way to prepare your body for pregnancy is to act like you are already pregnant. This means treating your body gently with kindness and love (something we should all do regardless!), abstaining from drinking, smoking and overmedicating, managing stress levels, getting enough sleep, and eating nourishing, hormone-supporting foods. I am lucky in the sense that I am not a drinker or smoker to begin with, and try to live a healthy, holistic lifestyle. I eat the nourishing foods, don’t overexercise (long walks are my favorite), and prioritize regular self-care in any form. I believe that getting into this mindset for several months before we were married really helped us get pregnant when we wanted to.

Getting Pregnant

Because I was so in tune with my body and my cycle (I used the MyFLO app to track), I knew my exact days of ovulation, which is key when you are trying to get pregnant. I thought that maybe the last-minute stress of my wedding day coming up would influence my cycle, but my period came right on time a week before the big day. This meant that I wouldn’t have my period on my wedding (a relief) and that I would be ovulating right in the middle of our honeymoon (perfect time to conceive).

We are beyond grateful that we got pregnant our first month of trying. When we first told our family and friends, many of them asked if our baby was “an accident” or “unplanned” - definitely not the case! We wanted nothing more than to get pregnant soon after we were married, and the timing of the universe all worked out perfectly.

The Beginning Weeks: Pre-Pregnancy Test

My first “symptom” of early pregnancy happened when we were still in Italy. We were walking around Venice on the last day of our honeymoon, and all of the sudden this feeling of intense nausea came over me but quickly passed. At this point I was hoping that I was pregnant, so I chalked it up to that and was excited by the feeling. Once we landed back in NYC, I had a few other symptoms that could have been mistaken for PMS. I was ravenous, had extremely sore breasts (spoiler alert: the soreness is REAL and lasted way into my second trimester) and was a little crampy as if I was getting my period. For a couple of days I was bummed and convinced that it was just PMS because it felt so similar! One difference between this feeling and PMS was my food aversions that started really early on - I could not stomach the thought of eating a salad and my body was craving all of the white carbs, dairy and red meat (all things I only occasionally eat). I had a good feeling that I was pregnant, but wanted to wait another week to take a pregnancy test to avoid a false negative.

When we did take the test, neither of us were really surprised - it was kind of confirming what we had thought. Even though it didn’t shock us, we were SO SO excited (!!!) and felt so lucky, yet also a little nervous of the unknown and what was to come.

The Middle Weeks: The Dark Days of Morning Sickness

I had on-and-off nausea spells for the first couple of weeks after we had taken the test, but nothing that wasn’t manageable with some ginger chews and sips of cold water. We decided not to tell any friends and family at this point - our baby felt like our sacred little secret and we liked it that way. We ended up only telling my mom a couple of weeks later, because as someone who FaceTimes and chats with their mom everyday, it was impossible to not tell her what was going on once my morning sickness really hit. I also needed her support and love while I was going through all of these new feelings and emotions. For the couple of weeks before the sickness came in full-force, I took it easy and focused on listening to my body (AKA ate a ton since I was constantly starving).

Now comes the part of the story that I feel like I partly blocked out of my memory, yet is still very vivid and feels like it happened yesterday. Brandon and I were headed to the Hamptons with his mom for July 4th/her birthday weekend. Everything was fine at first - I was dealing with the occasional nausea bouts but handling them discreetly. I remember we were in some traffic as we were getting close and my mother-in-law started talking about picking up a green juice (we both share a love for all things healthy!). I was sitting in the backseat of the car wanting to throw up at the thought of any type of green, especially in juice form. I somehow managed to change the topic of conversation, but as soon as we arrived I had to lay in bed, sip cold water and try to get my mind off of the intense nausea I was experiencing. It wasn’t going away quickly or with the help of the ginger candies how it used to. In fact, the candies were making it worse! I was at a loss for what to do, and it only continued to worsen. The next day, I was unable to get out of bed - it felt like I had an intense stomach flu. The only thing I could possibly think of being able to eat was a toasted bagel with regular cream cheese, so Brandon ran out to the nearest coffee shop and picked one up for me. I felt slightly better after eating the bagel, so we made our way to where his mom was staying to spend the day with her. I remember that I literally couldn’t get off of the couch for most of the day. Brandon and I later went to the grocery store to pick up some food for the rest of the long weekend, and the only thing I wanted was pretzel chips to dip into cream cheese (two things I never liked). I was a complete misery and could not be around any of the food that was being cooked, and could barely partake in normal conversation. I felt awful, physically and emotionally. We ended up having to leave the very next morning instead of staying the rest of the weekend because I felt so sick. The car ride from the Hamptons back to the city was torture - another side effect of pregnancy for me has been extreme car sickness, which is something I never had a problem with.

My husband has so many pictures on his phone that look exactly like this one from my first trimester. Pretty much sums it all up!

I wish I could say that weekend was the worst of it, but that feeling continued on until I was about 14 weeks pregnant. I spent my days and nights in bed feeling the most nauseous I have ever felt. If I was able to eat, it was usually a frozen waffle or toasted bagel (neither of which were “healthy” brands - I’m talking about those mini cinnamon toast Eggo waffles I grew up on) that Brandon would make and bring to me. Food was my worst enemy yet also the only thing I knew would make me feel better. On the days that I was able to go to work - probably a total of 8 days in the month - I would fall asleep at my desk and count the seconds until I could go home. Once I got home after a work day, I would cry and was convinced I was coming down with the actual flu, every single time. The level of exhaustion, nausea and body aches was something I had never experienced. It was at this point that we decided it would be best for me to leave my day job and take care of my body and our growing baby. Brandon was in the middle of transitioning jobs, so it was a blessing that he was home to take care of me 24/7. I could not have gotten through this period without him! Weeks of staying in bed, not taking care of myself (basic hygiene went out the window), not talking to anyone or seeing the light of day was very difficult for me. I had to constantly remind myself that I am healthy, I am happy, I am pregnant. This mantra helped pull me through and reminded me of the reason I was feeling this way. There would be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although this time period was tough for me, there were some extremely high points that I will always cherish. The first of which was when we saw our doctor at 7 weeks pregnant and heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time - it was SO special. It was crazy to see that little blob flashing on the screen at such an early stage! Another amazing moment was when we found out that our baby was low-risk for genetic disorders and found out the sex at the same time. We opted to get the Natera testing done at 10 weeks which tests for both. We were very happy with all of the results - most importantly that our baby was low-risk, but I also loved finding out the sex. We are having a baby girl!

Some other things worth mentioning: I experienced some light spotting at around 9 weeks and we went in to get it checked out. The doctor said it was completely normal and the baby was totally healthy and fine. At one of my doctor visits, my OBGYN gave me Diclegis which was a life-saver. I usually avoid prescription medication with the exception of my thyroid medicine, but taking this was the only way I was able to get through the night and eat anything when I woke up. I continued to take it daily at night until I was about 13 weeks pregnant.

The End Weeks: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

At around 12 weeks, I was still feeling pretty nauseous despite everyone saying I’d feel better after the first trimester. I learned to be patient and understand that everything happens gradually. I could have one really amazing day where I felt great, and the next day I’d be back in bed sick to my stomach. There wasn’t going to be a miraculous overnight “recovery” that I had anticipated, but I was SO happy to slowly begin to feel better in small increments. Any moment I had where I felt good and like myself was such a win.

We decided to tell our family and friends once we hit the 12 week mark. First we told Brandon’s mom and step-dad, then my extended family and cousins, then his grandma, then each of his aunts and cousins individually on FaceTime. It was so exciting to break the news - we told all of our family members on the same day! Over the following couple of days, we FaceTimed our friends and shared the news before we decided to post on our personal Instagram accounts. I highly recommend sharing this news in person or on FaceTime - the reactions you get are priceless and so special. Telling people and having them share in our excitement definitely helped raise my spirits. Even though I still wasn’t feeling great physically, it was really nice to have people check in and be so happy for and with you.

Lessons Learned

The biggest lesson I learned during the first trimester was to listen to my body. My diet pre-pregnancy was heavily plant-based and mostly gluten-free (because of my thyroid issues). This all went out the window from the second I conceived, and I was totally ok with it! If some days all I could eat were bagels with cream cheese, it was better than not eating at all. I learned to be ok with going weeks without a green, and to honor my cravings of foods I previously never liked or avoided. There was a week or two where ALL I wanted was fried eggs - so I literally ate 5 eggs a day. After the end of the phase, I became extremely averse to eggs and haven’t had them since. My body may have known my baby needed a certain nutrient from eggs, and once it had enough it told me to stop. Our bodies are way smarter than we give them credit for, and it has been so eye-opening to me to be able to follow these cues so intuitively. I learned to eat what I can, when I can, with no judgement on whatever that food might be.

Another lesson I learned was to surrender and trust. I know this sounds woo-woo, but it’s the only way you can get through pregnancy if you have a naturally worrisome, Type A personality. You have to know that your baby is growing exactly as he/she should, and that you are doing your absolute best even if it doesn’t always feel like you are. Of course if something feels off, you should definitely call your doctor/midwife/doula, but on a day-to-day normal basis it helps to just trust.

Lastly, I learned to rest! Even on the days when I wasn’t extremely exhausted, I didn’t push myself to do anything that didn’t feel relaxing and restful. I had to keep reminding myself that my body is working so hard to create a human life right now, which is no easy feat. Rest is good for mama and for baby, and it should not be taken lightly during pregnancy if you are fortunate enough to be able to prioritize it. Many people find working out is amazing for them during their pregnancies, but I have been feeling my best taking it easy and walking when I can.

First Trimester Must-Haves

Here is my list of must-have items that helped me get through the first trimester. As I stated earlier, be sure to check with your medical team before using anything as everyone is different! Everything I used was given the green light by my doctor, and I intuitively knew it was right for me and my baby.

• doTERRA Peppermint Oil: I do not know how I would have gotten through my severe bouts of nausea without this. I would put a drop on my tongue, rub it on my upper belly, forehead and neck when I was really struggling. It prevented me from throwing up countless times. Another weird first trimester symptom I had was a constant sour, bad taste in my mouth no matter what I did, but peppermint oil helped at least temporarily. I never left the house without my bottle in hand because it also helped with my smell aversions. Any time I was out in public and a smell was bothering me, I’d take a few whiffs!

• Pink Stork Magnesium Spray: I was skeptical of this spray at first, but it really did seem to help my nausea when I used it. I wouldn’t say this product is the end-all-cure-all, but I believe it helped. And when you’re feeling that bad, anything that slightly helps is worth it. I would spray some on my ankles, legs and feet at night before going to bed.

• Queasy Beads: Some days I felt like these really helped me, but other days my nausea was too strong and I didn’t feel like these made a big difference. These bracelets work by putting pressure on a point in your wrists to relieve nausea. I love that they are custom-made to your wrist size, and they are definitely cuter than the SeaBands on the market. I bought the “French Vanilla” color in the neutrals collection.

• Ginger People Ginger Chews: These helped settle my nausea early on in the pregnancy. The spicy flavor of the ginger helped distract me from feeling so sick, and the ginger settled my stomach. It is worth giving these a try to see if they help you too!

• Vitamin B6/Unisom: I took this combination before I was able to secure a prescription for the Diclegis pills, which are essentially the same thing. Be sure to ask your doctor about this because there is a specific type of Unisom to take and the dosage of both pills matter. Beware that this combo will likely make you tired, so you may want to only take it at night!

• Diclegis: As I mentioned above, I took these prescription anti-nausea pills every night until I was about 13 weeks pregnant. They were a life-saver and helped me get through the night and be able to stomach food in the morning. My doctor actually ended up giving me lots of samples, so I never had to pay for filling a prescription (I have heard it is expensive). It is for sure worth asking your doctor for samples or coupons if you are experiencing bad morning sickness.

• Zoe Organics Belly Oil + Belly Balm: I started using this belly oil and balm combo early on in the pregnancy to try to prevent any stretch marks. I love that it is all-natural with no weird ingredients. I don’t apply it religiously everyday - probably every other day after I shower. I put the oil on first and layer the butter over it. Just be careful as it can stain your clothes if you put them on immediately after.

• Cocokind Chia Facial Oil: Like I mentioned earlier in the post, my basic hygiene went out the window during my first trimester. I was lucky if I washed my face a few times a week. With that said, this oil was the only skincare product I used for the first few months. My skin was a little wacky with the hormonal changes and I needed to rely on a gentle yet effective oil. I never had a reaction from this chia oil, and I felt good knowing my skin was getting all of the nutrients in a 3-second occasional skincare “routine.”

• Gap Breathe Underwear: I swear the second that I found out I was pregnant, anything even remotely tight on my belly felt so constricting. I had one pair of these amazingly soft Gap undies in my drawer that I bought within the past year after Emily from Cupcakes & Cashmere recommended them. When I tried them on after none of my other underwear felt comfortable, these were like a saving grace and I knew I had to get 20 more pairs. No underwear has ever compared to the comfort level of these - I would highly recommend them even if you are not pregnant! If you are pregnant, I recommend sizing up one size for maximum comfort.

• Gap Maternity Leggings: I also ordered these maternity leggings very early on in pregnancy because of the uncomfortable restricting feeling my other pants were giving me. They are super soft and comfortable - I bought a few pairs during a sale and rotated them daily. I liked that these went over the belly, so I didn’t have to worry about the elastic digging in where my little bump was growing. They are not the thickest, highest-quality leggings - but they have been perfectly comfortable and a go-to for my temporary maternity use.

I hope this was helpful to you to read about my experience and tips. I’d love to hear all about your experiences! Feel free to leave a comment below.

xx

self-care is the new black

I never really understood what self-care meant until somewhat recently. If I woke up, brushed my teeth, showered daily (ok, sometimes every other day), and ate to fuel myself - wasn't that enough self-care? In a way, yes, that is taking care of my minimal needs as a human in society today. But that does not even begin to cover the kind of self-care I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is the self-care that fuels your soul, not just your body. The self-care that relaxes you like nothing else, makes you feel nourished, whole, and ready to give love back into the world. Seem too lofty to achieve? I'm telling you - it's possible, and it will take your happiness to a whole new level. 

Let's start with this thought (it's the one that made me realize how true self-care makes me feel). How do you feel on your birthday? I know, birthdays are sometimes stressful and oftentimes people hate them because they don't like to be reminded of their impending mortality. But what if you just thought of your most perfect day: What would you be doing? Who would you be with? What would you be eating? How would you be feeling? And then imagine this perfect day happens to fall on your birthday (a day to celebrate you), with no outside stressors involved. Just you and your perfect day and anyone who YOU choose to be involved in this happiness. 

When I first thought about this, here's how I decided my day would go:

1) Wake up (without an alarm) feeling well-rested and happy (because happiness is a choice, after all).

2) Slowly get ready for my day - brush my teeth, put on an outfit that makes me feel my best, go through my usual skincare and light makeup routine.

3) Go on a beautiful stroll outside with my boyfriend to our local coffee shop. Take the longer route, the one that allows us to walk alongside the water. Get an almond milk latte and a yummy chocolate chip sea salt cookie to split. Enjoy the said latte and cookie on a bench outside, talking, laughing, soaking in the sunshine. 

4) Walk back home. Meet up with my mom to get a manicure at our favorite all-natural salon, Jin Soon. Have thoughtful conversation - reminisce on growing up, catch up with each other, talk about fun future plans.

5) Come home to my bright apartment and throw together a delicious, nourishing meal for me, my boyfriend, mom, dad, brother and brother's girlfriend. If cooking doesn't feel like something I want to do, order in from one of our favorite spots and feast on this lovely lunch together.

6) Relax on the couch with my favorite people by my side. It's been a busy morning, and sitting and recharging feels right this afternoon. Once my family leaves, I enjoy some me-time. I light my favorite candle,  put on a face mask, and either listen to a podcast I love or browse through a wellness book.

7) A few hours later, throw on some (all-natural) lip color, freshen up, and head out to an early dinner with my best girlfriends. Be fully present while at dinner - enjoy the company, the food I'm eating, and appreciate the place we are in now. 

8) Come home after dinner. Wash my face and put on my favorite face oil. Snuggle up on the couch with my boyfriend and put on a TV show we both enjoy (current favorites: Big Little Lies, This is Us, Santa Clarita Diet, Girls). While we are watching, we snack on healthy goodies - for me, it's most likely chocolate coconut butter cups and a kombucha. 

Now, that may seem like a whole lot of activity in one day. And truth be told - it is! Although this list contains many of my favorite activities, I would not try to (nor would I be able to) go through this exact day every single day. Sometimes my favorite days consist of only doing one of the things I listed above. And sometimes I have the best days when I do none of the above, and instead listen to what my body and mind need and want. Similar to eating, your intuition will guide you to partake in your ideal self-care on any specific day. Listen to what your intuition is telling you, because it is smarter than you think. A trick to begin this process is to figure out what makes you happy and what makes you feel both at peace and excited at the same time. Once you pinpoint these activities, people, or things that contribute to this feeling, start to incorporate these into your daily life as much as you can. It is also important to note that self-care does not need to involve a ton of planning, money, or even time. Most of the things that make me the happiest are simple: spending quality time with people I love, savoring a yummy drink or snack, or having some me-time on the couch. One key to happiness is finding pleasure and excitement in the little things. Allow the small things that happen (or you make happen) each day in your life to shape your positive well-being. 

I attended a talk at Follain last month where Jessa Blades spoke about self-care and how it can truly heal your body. One of her tips was to add more fun to your life. Fun can take many forms and does not mean you have to go running off to an amusement park (which sounds like a nightmare to me, but each person is different). It can be as simple as buying pretty edible flowers to throw on top of your morning smoothie, dancing to your favorite song when no one is watching, or using a brush to apply your face mask instead of your fingers for an in-home spa-like experience. Write down what sounds fun to you, and spark your happiness using this list. I can almost guarantee that if you do those things, your body will feel lighter and the world will seem a bit brighter.

Self-care at its core is taking care of yourself. But taking care of yourself goes way beyond basic needs - as society becomes more complex and so do we, we owe ourselves some introspection to realize what makes us happy. Take some time to recognize these things and do them often. We all deserve to feel nourished, whole and happy - the good news is that you have all of the power in your own hands to do so.

xx

how i fell into the world of wellness

I think it is safe to say that most people in the wellness world have a story as to how they got there. I, for one, was not born with a passion for reading labels, healthifying recipes, and researching how the human body digests and uses different nutrients. I grew up on frequent pizza nights with babysitters, McDonald's drive-thru runs after school (those salty, crispy fries were my everything), and Entenmann's chocolate cake after every meal (yes, even after breakfast). I was super skinny, non-athletic (read: barely moved my body), and had no idea what a calorie was or that eating vanilla frosting straight out of a jar was bad for me. It's a wonder I am here today, functioning and thriving!

So what happened between childhood and now that led me to reassess my lifestyle choices, and sparked my interest in wellness? It was a somewhat gradual process, but I'll start my story from when I went away to college.

I moved to Boston (well, the suburbs right outside of Boston) to go to Tufts University in the fall of 2009. From freshman year to the beginning of junior year, I was notoriously known for how I ate. "Eat like Pamela to look like Pamela" my roommates would say, laughingly. My dorm cabinets were stocked with s'mores pop-tarts, dunkaroos, potato chips, marshmallow fluff, and all things of the like. My little freezer always had multiple packs of raspberry toaster strudels - my favorite go-to breakfast - and a tray of my grammy's homemade noodle kugel (for anyone who doesn't know what that is - it's essentially a mix of sugar, butter, cream cheese + noodles). Most lunches I'd order in a corned beef sandwich from the local deli, extra fries on the side, and for dinners, I'd go down to the cafeteria and pick up some variation of artificial glazed orange chicken with loads of white rice (cringing as I recall this). Important to note is that I did not binge on these foods - I only ate when I was hungry, and very intuitively. I never gained weight, so I didn't realize the harm I was doing to myself by fueling up on these fake, sugary foods all of the time. Why would I care to change my diet if what I was eating tasted good and wasn't changing the way I looked? 

Fast forward to the second half of junior year. Like many college students, I decided to study abroad. Australia was my location of choice - I could not wait to live on the beach, travel around that side of the world, and eat all of the yummy things the culture had to offer. And that is exactly what I did. I had the time of my life and indulged in everything from crazy adventures (I went skydiving, which is the most out of character thing I have and will ever do), to new experiences + places (we traveled every weekend!), to trying new foods (except kangaroo). I especially indulged in trying new foods. Given my sweet tooth, I made sure to order multiple desserts at every place we went so I could experience it all. I vividly remember walking through a fair in Melbourne with my group of friends and stopping at every churro stand so I could determine which churro was the best. I also recall going to Dominos up the street with my roommate on $5 pizza nights (hey, we were abroad students on a budget!) and each devouring our own personal pizzas. My friends were all somewhat athletic, unlike me, and fully took advantage of our beautiful beach paths for daily runs. They sort of inspired me to pick up physical movement - something I had never really done before - and so for a week or so, I tried to join them. Key word: tried. These runs were not hard for the average person, but I was so out of breath within minutes! Not only did I have trouble breathing, but my ankles swelled up horribly after a few run attempts. I had to see a sports physical therapist while I was there because the pain was so severe it was hard to walk. This was the first wake up call for me that maybe I should make a change to my lifestyle. 

The second wake up call came when my family visited me towards the end of my abroad time. I was SO excited to see my mom, dad, and brother, and was so grateful they were able to make the trip across the world to experience where I've been living the past few months. I don't remember how exactly they told me I looked a little "healthier" (larger) than normal, but I do remember it was in a totally non-judgmental and non-hurtful way. My mom told me to continue to eat and experience everything I wanted, and we would eat cleaner when I got back home. That night in their hotel room, I stepped on a scale and saw I was 20 pounds heavier than I was when I left. I decided then that I would begin to learn about nutrition and figure out what changes to make so I would be ready to start my healthy lifestyle at home.

I returned home in early June and spent the following months reading every nutrition article, magazine, and book I could get my hands on. I learned all of the basics of nutrition that I had never known before. It was like a whole new world opened up and I could not get enough. Learning about different foods and how our bodies digest and utilize nutrients excited me, and I LOVED sharing everything I had learned with my family. I also started going to the gym in my town - I'd go every day for about an hour and do some form of cardio. By the time I went back to school in September, I had lost those 20 extra pounds. My body was back to its normal weight, and now I actually knew how to nourish myself to feel good! I snacked on nuts instead of pastries, had plain yogurts, lean proteins, gluten-free grains + salads for meals, and developed a love for roasted sweet potatoes. I was ready to take on senior year in a whole new healthful way. I continued to eat to nourish myself during my last year at college (that's not to say I didn't have a couple drinks at senior nights, or order late night pizzas with my best friends), but I began to learn the meaning of balance and figure out what foods make me feel my best.

It's been 4 years since I graduated college, and I am still so passionately interested in nutrition and wellness. Nothing gets me more excited than when a new healthy product comes out on the market, or when I master a "healthified" baked good recipe. I try to truly listen to my body to tell me exactly what it needs (our bodies are so smart). It is not always easy, and there are times when I decide to eat a whole plate of cookies even when I'm not necessarily hungry. The key word is decide: you are in control of what you eat, and most importantly of how you feel before, during, and after eating. "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" is one of my favorite quotes of all time. No food is bad (except maybe foods that you are allergic/intolerant to - another post to come on food intolerances soon!) and no food has the control to make you feel a certain type of way. Food is meant to nourish and support us - physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

There have been periods where I've eaten along the lines of certain diets - carnivorous, vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, grain-free etc., but I will never put a label on myself and restrict what I can and cannot eat. For the most part, I eat a gluten-free, plant-based, refined-sugar free diet (because this is what I have found makes me feel my best) - although if I am craving a tuna sandwich or my favorite donut, I eat exactly that! It takes a lot of trial and error to figure out what works best for your body, and every body is so unique. People's bodies change with time, and if you really listen to what you are craving and your inner signals, you are on your way to nourishing yourself to become the best you possible. 

As for exercise - my daily gym habit did not keep up, but that is ok. After I graduated college, I started working at my current job which consists of sitting at a desk for a majority of the time. These days, I try to move my body at least 2 times a week, and to sneak in extra movement when possible (like walking home from work instead of hopping in an uber). I am lucky to live in NYC where walking everywhere is normal and encouraged. My current favorite workouts are: The Bari Studio (my fave class is a combo of cardio, trampoline, and sculpt), DanceBody (the most fun dance cardio class), and PopPhysique (the cutest barre studio you can imagine). I really listen to my body when it comes to exercise and feel no shame if I go weeks without a workout or decide to spend a whole weekend relaxing on the couch.

Although it's been years since I gracefully fell into this world of health, nutrition + wellness, these topics remain at the forefront of my life. New research, theories, and products come out each day, and keeping up with the times only fuels my passion.

The most important thing I have learned is that health is not just about what you are eating, but also about how you are feeling. Your body is so unique to you, and being in tune with it is the best gift you can give to yourself. I hope one day to be able to help others navigate their own wellness journeys, so they can be the best version of themselves too.

xx

my journey to non-toxic beauty

My journey was not a long one, to say the least. Well, it was a long time coming - but the actual transition happened much faster than I had imagined. I thought it'd take me weeks, months, even a year to wean off of my beloved Nars concealer stick, Make Up For Ever blush, Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner and Dior mascara. But the day I switched over to natural beauty products, I zipped up my makeup bag filled with all of my go-tos and haven't opened it since. 

Ever since I started to become knowledgable on nutrition and how what you eat affects how you feel (another post coming soon on this), it made me feel weird knowing I was coating my face and body with toxic chemicals. After long hours of research (anyone else have those late nights awake googling things?) and truly looking into the ingredients of my favorite products, I knew it would be best for my health to transition to the non-toxic side.

I wasn't always this way - growing up, I used to get angry at my mom if she "accidentally" bought the organic brand of something - whether it was food, shampoo, or even cleaning supplies. For some reason, it's a common misconception that organic and natural is synonymous with ineffective. Well mom, you were onto something (as mom's usually are), and I wish I had listened to you then and accepted those non-toxic items with ease. 

Fast forward to the summer of 2016. I was in Los Angeles for a few weeks on a work trip, and finally living my dream of being a west coast gal. I decided that during this trip (even though I was working a lot of the time), I would really splurge and live that LA lifestyle I always wanted to experience. So during my free time, I frequented all of the yummy, nourishing plant-based restaurants (can you say Cafe Gratitude and Gracias Madre), got a manicure at Olive & June, a relaxing massage at The Now, and had Beaming Cafe acai bowls probably far too frequently than I should have. I was in absolute heaven and never wanted to leave - the self-care made me feel so refreshed, pure, nourished and even made me glow (or so my boyfriend says). It was during this trip that I decided the time was truly never better to make the switch to non-toxic skincare and beauty products.

During one of my last days in LA, I left my work site a bit early and walked over to The Detox Market. This was the store I've been thoroughly researching for months - I knew it had a wide assortment of brands to pick from and a variety of different skincare and beauty options, all non-toxic. When I walked in, I knew immediately that I was in the right place. The environment was bright, cheery, clean and welcoming. I think I looked a little overwhelmed because a store associate instantly came up to me and asked if I could use some help. "Yes! I am looking to buy non-toxic swaps for ALL of my current products," I exclaimed with both excitement and nerves. We went through each and every one of the products I use daily and she recommended her favorites, as well as let me test out as many products as I wanted. I am not exaggerating when I say I was in that store for over 2 hours. I walked around and picked up every single product, looked at the ingredients, smelled, felt, and experienced it all until I knew I was confident in the product choices I was making. I even called my colleague to come meet me there - in that moment, I wanted to share this gem of a store and my excitement with everyone I knew. I left that evening with a bag full of new products and a hop in my step (ok, and a small dent in my wallet - but worth every penny)!

So here's what I ended up getting that fateful day (and my thoughts on each product!), as I'm sure you may be curious:

• Josh Rosebrook Tinted Nutrient Day Cream with SPF 30: My intentions for getting this cream was to start wearing SPF each day (another thing my mom told me years ago that I ignored). This cream would not only serve as a moisturizer, but also a sun protector, and a bit of a foundation with its light, glowy sheen. This product has not disappointed! I use it every single day and it has transformed my skin.
• Province Apothocary Invigorating + Balancing Toner: I wasn't previously using a toner but the store associate suggested this one to me. I really enjoyed the freshness this toner gave my skin, but have since finished the bottle and am trying out some other brands.
• Lily Lolo Black Vegan Mascara: I LOVE this mascara! I was not naturally blessed with thick and long lashes, so finding a good natural mascara was really important for me. This one did the trick and didn't flake off by the end of the day. I have since been getting eyelash extensions (which I could not love more!) so I no longer need to use mascara, but I highly recommend this one.
• Tata Harper Volumizing Lip and Cheek Tint: This product is the best. I was nervous to replace my signature pink cream Make Up For Ever blush, and this one turned out to be so much better. It's the perfect pink (I got it in "Very Charming") and has a really pleasant smell. I love using this on my cheeks for a pretty glowy flushed look, and my lips when I want a hint of color. Tata Harper is a solid non-toxic beauty brand, and is even found in big beauty retailers like Sephora.
• RMS Beauty "Un" Cover-Up: This is a great light concealer that you can also use as foundation. I love that it is sheer, doesn't cake up, and gives your skin a dewy feel. Still use this one daily and would definitely recommend. For a cover-up with more coverage (covers under-eye darkness like a pro), I recommend the W3LL People Bio Correct Multi-Action Concealer.
• W3LL People Bio Bronzer Stick: I was never big on powdered bronzers and always preferred a cream or gel. Enter this bio bronzer stick: the easiest way to apply (non-aggressive) color for a nice hint of bronze glow. The application is so easy and smooth that I've even started to experiment with contouring. This stick lasts a while and is a staple in my routine.
• Kahina Beauty Argan Oil: This high-quality, organic oil is a true skin nourisher. I have since run out of the bottle (and am experimenting with some other brands), but this was a solid first choice for a non-toxic face oil. As far as face oils go - the simpler and fewer ingredients, the better.
• Kaia Naturals Juicy Cloths To-Go: These are effective fresh smelling wipes for your face or body. I like to use these on my face immediately following a workout to avoid pimples from sweat. They are great to throw in your bag for on-the-go moments when you need a little freshening up!

Since my initial non-toxic beauty haul, I've tried a bunch of other brands and products that I have loved and incorporated into my beauty routine. Some are: RMS Beauty Oil (has superfood ingredients like turmeric + ashwagandha to nourish and brighten your skin), Vapour Organic Beauty Mesmerize Eyeliner (simple replacement for a black eyeliner stick), Jane Iredale PureBrow Brow Gel (my brows are pretty fine and this fills them in, in a subtle way), Savor Beauty Brightening Pumpkin Renew Serum (smells amazing and feels so good on your skin), Cocokind MyMatcha Moisture Stick (swear by this - I use it under my eyes to reduce puffiness + on my lips), Herbivore Coco Rose Body Polish (for the most spa-like scrub experience in your own home), and Lulu Organics Hair Powder (dry shampoo is a must for me). Finding natural beauty products that work amazing and make you look and feel amazing brings me so much excitement. A new all-natural beauty and skincare store, Follain, recently opened up across the street from my office. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately?), I won't have to trek across the country to discover and pick up non-toxic products anymore. 

Making the switch to non-toxic beauty does not need to be as all-in as my story was. Maybe the next time you find your concealer is running low, you can do some research on what works best for you and find a non-toxic replacement to purchase instead. I know from my own experience that this switch was life-changing and something that needed to happen for me. My skin has never been glowier, I've been getting much fewer breakouts, and my wrinkles (yes, I do have some wrinkles at the ripe age of 25) are softer and more supple. I feel overall so much better about what I'm nourishing my body with from the outside.

If you need any recommendations or have any questions about transitioning to non-toxic products, please feel free to reach out! I am here to support and encourage your natural glowiness in all ways.

xx