self-care is the new black

I never really understood what self-care meant until somewhat recently. If I woke up, brushed my teeth, showered daily (ok, sometimes every other day), and ate to fuel myself - wasn't that enough self-care? In a way, yes, that is taking care of my minimal needs as a human in society today. But that does not even begin to cover the kind of self-care I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is the self-care that fuels your soul, not just your body. The self-care that relaxes you like nothing else, makes you feel nourished, whole, and ready to give love back into the world. Seem too lofty to achieve? I'm telling you - it's possible, and it will take your happiness to a whole new level. 

Let's start with this thought (it's the one that made me realize how true self-care makes me feel). How do you feel on your birthday? I know, birthdays are sometimes stressful and oftentimes people hate them because they don't like to be reminded of their impending mortality. But what if you just thought of your most perfect day: What would you be doing? Who would you be with? What would you be eating? How would you be feeling? And then imagine this perfect day happens to fall on your birthday (a day to celebrate you), with no outside stressors involved. Just you and your perfect day and anyone who YOU choose to be involved in this happiness. 

When I first thought about this, here's how I decided my day would go:

1) Wake up (without an alarm) feeling well-rested and happy (because happiness is a choice, after all).

2) Slowly get ready for my day - brush my teeth, put on an outfit that makes me feel my best, go through my usual skincare and light makeup routine.

3) Go on a beautiful stroll outside with my boyfriend to our local coffee shop. Take the longer route, the one that allows us to walk alongside the water. Get an almond milk latte and a yummy chocolate chip sea salt cookie to split. Enjoy the said latte and cookie on a bench outside, talking, laughing, soaking in the sunshine. 

4) Walk back home. Meet up with my mom to get a manicure at our favorite all-natural salon, Jin Soon. Have thoughtful conversation - reminisce on growing up, catch up with each other, talk about fun future plans.

5) Come home to my bright apartment and throw together a delicious, nourishing meal for me, my boyfriend, mom, dad, brother and brother's girlfriend. If cooking doesn't feel like something I want to do, order in from one of our favorite spots and feast on this lovely lunch together.

6) Relax on the couch with my favorite people by my side. It's been a busy morning, and sitting and recharging feels right this afternoon. Once my family leaves, I enjoy some me-time. I light my favorite candle,  put on a face mask, and either listen to a podcast I love or browse through a wellness book.

7) A few hours later, throw on some (all-natural) lip color, freshen up, and head out to an early dinner with my best girlfriends. Be fully present while at dinner - enjoy the company, the food I'm eating, and appreciate the place we are in now. 

8) Come home after dinner. Wash my face and put on my favorite face oil. Snuggle up on the couch with my boyfriend and put on a TV show we both enjoy (current favorites: Big Little Lies, This is Us, Santa Clarita Diet, Girls). While we are watching, we snack on healthy goodies - for me, it's most likely chocolate coconut butter cups and a kombucha. 

Now, that may seem like a whole lot of activity in one day. And truth be told - it is! Although this list contains many of my favorite activities, I would not try to (nor would I be able to) go through this exact day every single day. Sometimes my favorite days consist of only doing one of the things I listed above. And sometimes I have the best days when I do none of the above, and instead listen to what my body and mind need and want. Similar to eating, your intuition will guide you to partake in your ideal self-care on any specific day. Listen to what your intuition is telling you, because it is smarter than you think. A trick to begin this process is to figure out what makes you happy and what makes you feel both at peace and excited at the same time. Once you pinpoint these activities, people, or things that contribute to this feeling, start to incorporate these into your daily life as much as you can. It is also important to note that self-care does not need to involve a ton of planning, money, or even time. Most of the things that make me the happiest are simple: spending quality time with people I love, savoring a yummy drink or snack, or having some me-time on the couch. One key to happiness is finding pleasure and excitement in the little things. Allow the small things that happen (or you make happen) each day in your life to shape your positive well-being. 

I attended a talk at Follain last month where Jessa Blades spoke about self-care and how it can truly heal your body. One of her tips was to add more fun to your life. Fun can take many forms and does not mean you have to go running off to an amusement park (which sounds like a nightmare to me, but each person is different). It can be as simple as buying pretty edible flowers to throw on top of your morning smoothie, dancing to your favorite song when no one is watching, or using a brush to apply your face mask instead of your fingers for an in-home spa-like experience. Write down what sounds fun to you, and spark your happiness using this list. I can almost guarantee that if you do those things, your body will feel lighter and the world will seem a bit brighter.

Self-care at its core is taking care of yourself. But taking care of yourself goes way beyond basic needs - as society becomes more complex and so do we, we owe ourselves some introspection to realize what makes us happy. Take some time to recognize these things and do them often. We all deserve to feel nourished, whole and happy - the good news is that you have all of the power in your own hands to do so.

xx

how i fell into the world of wellness

I think it is safe to say that most people in the wellness world have a story as to how they got there. I, for one, was not born with a passion for reading labels, healthifying recipes, and researching how the human body digests and uses different nutrients. I grew up on frequent pizza nights with babysitters, McDonald's drive-thru runs after school (those salty, crispy fries were my everything), and Entenmann's chocolate cake after every meal (yes, even after breakfast). I was super skinny, non-athletic (read: barely moved my body), and had no idea what a calorie was or that eating vanilla frosting straight out of a jar was bad for me. It's a wonder I am here today, functioning and thriving!

So what happened between childhood and now that led me to reassess my lifestyle choices, and sparked my interest in wellness? It was a somewhat gradual process, but I'll start my story from when I went away to college.

I moved to Boston (well, the suburbs right outside of Boston) to go to Tufts University in the fall of 2009. From freshman year to the beginning of junior year, I was notoriously known for how I ate. "Eat like Pamela to look like Pamela" my roommates would say, laughingly. My dorm cabinets were stocked with s'mores pop-tarts, dunkaroos, potato chips, marshmallow fluff, and all things of the like. My little freezer always had multiple packs of raspberry toaster strudels - my favorite go-to breakfast - and a tray of my grammy's homemade noodle kugel (for anyone who doesn't know what that is - it's essentially a mix of sugar, butter, cream cheese + noodles). Most lunches I'd order in a corned beef sandwich from the local deli, extra fries on the side, and for dinners, I'd go down to the cafeteria and pick up some variation of artificial glazed orange chicken with loads of white rice (cringing as I recall this). Important to note is that I did not binge on these foods - I only ate when I was hungry, and very intuitively. I never gained weight, so I didn't realize the harm I was doing to myself by fueling up on these fake, sugary foods all of the time. Why would I care to change my diet if what I was eating tasted good and wasn't changing the way I looked? 

Fast forward to the second half of junior year. Like many college students, I decided to study abroad. Australia was my location of choice - I could not wait to live on the beach, travel around that side of the world, and eat all of the yummy things the culture had to offer. And that is exactly what I did. I had the time of my life and indulged in everything from crazy adventures (I went skydiving, which is the most out of character thing I have and will ever do), to new experiences + places (we traveled every weekend!), to trying new foods (except kangaroo). I especially indulged in trying new foods. Given my sweet tooth, I made sure to order multiple desserts at every place we went so I could experience it all. I vividly remember walking through a fair in Melbourne with my group of friends and stopping at every churro stand so I could determine which churro was the best. I also recall going to Dominos up the street with my roommate on $5 pizza nights (hey, we were abroad students on a budget!) and each devouring our own personal pizzas. My friends were all somewhat athletic, unlike me, and fully took advantage of our beautiful beach paths for daily runs. They sort of inspired me to pick up physical movement - something I had never really done before - and so for a week or so, I tried to join them. Key word: tried. These runs were not hard for the average person, but I was so out of breath within minutes! Not only did I have trouble breathing, but my ankles swelled up horribly after a few run attempts. I had to see a sports physical therapist while I was there because the pain was so severe it was hard to walk. This was the first wake up call for me that maybe I should make a change to my lifestyle. 

The second wake up call came when my family visited me towards the end of my abroad time. I was SO excited to see my mom, dad, and brother, and was so grateful they were able to make the trip across the world to experience where I've been living the past few months. I don't remember how exactly they told me I looked a little "healthier" (larger) than normal, but I do remember it was in a totally non-judgmental and non-hurtful way. My mom told me to continue to eat and experience everything I wanted, and we would eat cleaner when I got back home. That night in their hotel room, I stepped on a scale and saw I was 20 pounds heavier than I was when I left. I decided then that I would begin to learn about nutrition and figure out what changes to make so I would be ready to start my healthy lifestyle at home.

I returned home in early June and spent the following months reading every nutrition article, magazine, and book I could get my hands on. I learned all of the basics of nutrition that I had never known before. It was like a whole new world opened up and I could not get enough. Learning about different foods and how our bodies digest and utilize nutrients excited me, and I LOVED sharing everything I had learned with my family. I also started going to the gym in my town - I'd go every day for about an hour and do some form of cardio. By the time I went back to school in September, I had lost those 20 extra pounds. My body was back to its normal weight, and now I actually knew how to nourish myself to feel good! I snacked on nuts instead of pastries, had plain yogurts, lean proteins, gluten-free grains + salads for meals, and developed a love for roasted sweet potatoes. I was ready to take on senior year in a whole new healthful way. I continued to eat to nourish myself during my last year at college (that's not to say I didn't have a couple drinks at senior nights, or order late night pizzas with my best friends), but I began to learn the meaning of balance and figure out what foods make me feel my best.

It's been 4 years since I graduated college, and I am still so passionately interested in nutrition and wellness. Nothing gets me more excited than when a new healthy product comes out on the market, or when I master a "healthified" baked good recipe. I try to truly listen to my body to tell me exactly what it needs (our bodies are so smart). It is not always easy, and there are times when I decide to eat a whole plate of cookies even when I'm not necessarily hungry. The key word is decide: you are in control of what you eat, and most importantly of how you feel before, during, and after eating. "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" is one of my favorite quotes of all time. No food is bad (except maybe foods that you are allergic/intolerant to - another post to come on food intolerances soon!) and no food has the control to make you feel a certain type of way. Food is meant to nourish and support us - physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

There have been periods where I've eaten along the lines of certain diets - carnivorous, vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, grain-free etc., but I will never put a label on myself and restrict what I can and cannot eat. For the most part, I eat a gluten-free, plant-based, refined-sugar free diet (because this is what I have found makes me feel my best) - although if I am craving a tuna sandwich or my favorite donut, I eat exactly that! It takes a lot of trial and error to figure out what works best for your body, and every body is so unique. People's bodies change with time, and if you really listen to what you are craving and your inner signals, you are on your way to nourishing yourself to become the best you possible. 

As for exercise - my daily gym habit did not keep up, but that is ok. After I graduated college, I started working at my current job which consists of sitting at a desk for a majority of the time. These days, I try to move my body at least 2 times a week, and to sneak in extra movement when possible (like walking home from work instead of hopping in an uber). I am lucky to live in NYC where walking everywhere is normal and encouraged. My current favorite workouts are: The Bari Studio (my fave class is a combo of cardio, trampoline, and sculpt), DanceBody (the most fun dance cardio class), and PopPhysique (the cutest barre studio you can imagine). I really listen to my body when it comes to exercise and feel no shame if I go weeks without a workout or decide to spend a whole weekend relaxing on the couch.

Although it's been years since I gracefully fell into this world of health, nutrition + wellness, these topics remain at the forefront of my life. New research, theories, and products come out each day, and keeping up with the times only fuels my passion.

The most important thing I have learned is that health is not just about what you are eating, but also about how you are feeling. Your body is so unique to you, and being in tune with it is the best gift you can give to yourself. I hope one day to be able to help others navigate their own wellness journeys, so they can be the best version of themselves too.

xx